Spider Mansion
18301 West Colfax Avenue
Golden, CO
Spider Mansion has been completely revamped from the mid-grade haunt I a few years back into one of Denver's best. The key to their success is the line spacing - they space the groups out almost too much, to the point where you are pretty well guaranteed a lengthy wait in line. Once you get inside, though, it's completely worth it, as the sense of isolation is much greater than in most haunts. The other thing they do very, very well here is misdirection. I can't even count the number of times I warily eyed one part of the room, waiting for someone to jump out, only to be assaulted from another direction. They have retained one gag from the old Spider Mansion, which features a character (Samara from The Ring a few years ago, Michael Myers this year) repeatedly and silently disappearing down a series of hallways It was the best thing about Spider Mansion before, and. . . well, it may still be the best part - but there's a lot more competition. If you don't mind waiting in line, or you want to spring for the VIP tickets, which also get you a brief ride in the back of a hearse, I very highly recommend this haunt.
9/10
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Saturday, October 30, 2010
2010 Haunt Reviews: House of the Headless Horseman
House of the Headless Horseman
66803 Hwy 285
Pine, CO
This haunt isn't really working at the level of most of the other, more professional haunts I've been to this year, but they do a lot with their limited resources. Sets are simple in design and concept, but feature a tremendous amount of detail, which I suppose sums up the haunt as a whole, it's unambitious, but very well executed, particularly by the actors, who really give it their all and know to to more than just jump out and scream. The only real complaint I have is the very beginning, where a somewhat bored-seeming man read the introductory legend to us from a sheet of paper. Didn't do much to set the mood, that's for sure. If you happen to be way out in the middle of nowhere (that is to say, Bailey, CO), there's no excuse not to visit.
6/10
66803 Hwy 285
Pine, CO
This haunt isn't really working at the level of most of the other, more professional haunts I've been to this year, but they do a lot with their limited resources. Sets are simple in design and concept, but feature a tremendous amount of detail, which I suppose sums up the haunt as a whole, it's unambitious, but very well executed, particularly by the actors, who really give it their all and know to to more than just jump out and scream. The only real complaint I have is the very beginning, where a somewhat bored-seeming man read the introductory legend to us from a sheet of paper. Didn't do much to set the mood, that's for sure. If you happen to be way out in the middle of nowhere (that is to say, Bailey, CO), there's no excuse not to visit.
6/10
2010 Haunt Reviews: The 13th Floor (with Blood Shed)
The 13th Floor (and Blood Shed)
4120 Brighton Blvd
Denver, CO
This haunt seems to be constantly praised by the national media, and I can't quite figure out why. I've attended both of the last two years (I missed the first year), and both times it was solid, but very underwhelming. To be fair, this year, a lot of the problem may have stemmed from some really atrocious spacing issues that I encountered. It's hard to be scared when you're seeing the scare reset itself as you walk in. I tried to hold back, in order to avoid this, but then the next group caught up to us. And then we ran into the group that was two ahead of us. It was a complete disaster. I'm not citing the spacing issues as an excuse, though, because it isn't really excusable – that's the sort of thing that needs to be accounted for in the design.
They do have some really neat effects that you don't see a lot of, largely dealing with the illusion of great height. There are also some really impressive large-scale animatronics. Given this, I'm going to give a split rating for the first time.
4 (my experience)/8 (my guess at what you'll experience, if you get lucky with the spacing)
4120 Brighton Blvd
Denver, CO
This haunt seems to be constantly praised by the national media, and I can't quite figure out why. I've attended both of the last two years (I missed the first year), and both times it was solid, but very underwhelming. To be fair, this year, a lot of the problem may have stemmed from some really atrocious spacing issues that I encountered. It's hard to be scared when you're seeing the scare reset itself as you walk in. I tried to hold back, in order to avoid this, but then the next group caught up to us. And then we ran into the group that was two ahead of us. It was a complete disaster. I'm not citing the spacing issues as an excuse, though, because it isn't really excusable – that's the sort of thing that needs to be accounted for in the design.
They do have some really neat effects that you don't see a lot of, largely dealing with the illusion of great height. There are also some really impressive large-scale animatronics. Given this, I'm going to give a split rating for the first time.
4 (my experience)/8 (my guess at what you'll experience, if you get lucky with the spacing)
2010 Haunt Reviews: Decimation
Decimation
I-25 and County Line Road
Centennial, CO
Decimation is another first-year haunt, and they're off to a strong start. It's a lot more brutal and rough than many of the others, featuring the most extreme gore of any haunt I've seen this year other than (maybe) City of the Dead. They still have some kinks to work out, and I hope that they find a better space (currently, it's in a mall building), but it's a solid experience as it stands, with a few surprising elements that I haven't come across before (there's a particularly interesting hallway, and a really cool costume effect right at the end). It's a little short, though. Recommended with some reservations, and I expect even better from them next year.
7/10
I-25 and County Line Road
Centennial, CO
Decimation is another first-year haunt, and they're off to a strong start. It's a lot more brutal and rough than many of the others, featuring the most extreme gore of any haunt I've seen this year other than (maybe) City of the Dead. They still have some kinks to work out, and I hope that they find a better space (currently, it's in a mall building), but it's a solid experience as it stands, with a few surprising elements that I haven't come across before (there's a particularly interesting hallway, and a really cool costume effect right at the end). It's a little short, though. Recommended with some reservations, and I expect even better from them next year.
7/10
2010 Haunt Reviews: The I Scream Factory
The I Scream Factory
3280 Brighton Blvd
Denver, CO
The I Scream Factory, a first-year haunt, has a lot of potential. They have a large, isolated space that could be used very effectively, and they have worked out the secret of creating a very disorienting atmosphere through the use of darkness and music. Unfortunately, they haven't done much to build on these assets, as most of the haunt is woefully underpopulated. In addition, their one somewhat novel idea, the multiple paths you can take at the end, is undermined by the fact that the split is controlled by a standard employee with a flashlight, which completely breaks the mood – you may as well be heading into an entirely separate haunt. All of that said, I do want to give credit to the acrobatic boy on the school bus, who was very creepy – but I certainly can't recommend the haunt.
3/10
3280 Brighton Blvd
Denver, CO
The I Scream Factory, a first-year haunt, has a lot of potential. They have a large, isolated space that could be used very effectively, and they have worked out the secret of creating a very disorienting atmosphere through the use of darkness and music. Unfortunately, they haven't done much to build on these assets, as most of the haunt is woefully underpopulated. In addition, their one somewhat novel idea, the multiple paths you can take at the end, is undermined by the fact that the split is controlled by a standard employee with a flashlight, which completely breaks the mood – you may as well be heading into an entirely separate haunt. All of that said, I do want to give credit to the acrobatic boy on the school bus, who was very creepy – but I certainly can't recommend the haunt.
3/10
Thursday, October 28, 2010
The 50 Best Horror Movies: #1-10
Well, since time is flying by we'll just finish this thing off with the top ten horror movies, all in one post.
10. The Devil’s Backbone
Guillermo Del Toro, 2001
Pan's Labyrinth got all of the attention, but this earlier film is Del Toro's true masterpiece. It's a haunting story (hah! Thank you, I'll be here all week), focusing heavily on the weight of history and the the pain and regret that people feel over their mistakes. The ghosts are really just outward manifestations of that – both metaphorically and, to a surprising degree, literally. As with Pan's, Del Toro wrings a strong set of performances out of a young cast that probably shouldn't be capable of it yet. A triumph on all levels.
9. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Tobe Hooper, 1974
Infamously violent yet shockingly non-graphic, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is one of the most grueling, intense moviegoing experiences you will ever have. It all begins with a very particular sound – that of a flashbulb firing. It's loud, sudden, and totally mundane – yet it puts you right on edge. That sound basically typifies the movie as a whole – it's painfully normal, almost drab, but still just far enough off of center to be unnerving. Even when the movie descends into nightmarish chaos in the last third, that smothering drabness (and I mean this in a good way, despite my choice of word) is still present.
Also, and unrelated – bonus anti-PC points for having the handicapped character be an utterly unsympathetic asshole.
8. Night of the Living Dead
George A. Romero, 1968
This is zombie patient zero – the very first appearance of what we have come to know as zombies. Before this, the only sort of zombies seen on-screen were the Caribbean, voodoo-type of zombies, which are an entirely different creature. Of course, Romero’s movies are never truly about the zombies, but rather what they reveal about us. Even now, 40 years later, the ending still has the ability to enrage and shock.
7. The Thing
John Carpenter, 1982
John Carpenter's The Thing proves two things. First, that remakes can be superior to the source (especially when the source is as ridiculous and backward-looking as it is in this case), and second, that good, old-fashioned latex-based physical effects can accomplish anything. Of course, all of those brilliant effects wouldn't mean much if they were presented poorly, but fortunately, The Thing is a textbook example of how to make this sort of film. It is, essentially, flawless.
6. The Fly
David Cronenberg, 1986
Another remake that blows the original out of the water. Of course, as with The Thing, the movie is so different that it is hardly recognizable as a remake. In this case, Cronenberg has taken the bare bones of the original The Fly and shaped it into a grueling (both emotionally and viscerally) parable about aging and disease. Fantastic stuff.
5. Return of the Living Dead
Dan O’bannon, 1985
Return of the Living Dead manages to do something that very few other movies have ever pulled off – it is both scary and funny. Sure, there have been successful horror comedies in the past (several of which are on this list), but, while they succeed as comedies (which is usually the primary intent) and they succeed as horror movies, they still aren’t really scary. This one is. The zombies are incredibly menacing and frightening, but also provide some of the funniest moments I’ve ever seen on screen (“send more paramedics”). It’s a difficult tightrope to walk, but Return of the Living Dead never falls apart the way it probably ought to. Wrap it all up with that beautifully nihilistic ending, and you’ve got a winner.
4. Don’t Look Now
Nicholas Roeg, 1973
It’s all about the ending with this one, which just might be the single most terrifying moment I’ve ever experienced in a movie. The rest of the movie is terrific as well – a gut-wrenching portrait of a couple trying to move on after the death of their daughter – but there’s not much fear to be had. You could be forgiven for thinking you were watching some sort of prestige drama – which in many ways, it is. But then that moment happens, and it all changes. I shall speak no more of it until you see it for yourselves.
3. Halloween
John Carpenter, 1978
Well, it's Halloween. It's basically the birth of the slasher movie (yes, I know that it bears many similarities to the earlier Black Christmas, but Halloween took the scattered ideas of the movie and really built them into a coherent whole). When John Carpenter was in his prime, no one could wring more suspense out of a few well-chosen shots than him. No one. And this is exhibit A. Watch Laurie's long walk across the street. Watch Annie's excruciating stuck-in-the-window sequence. Watch basically any other sequence in the movie, and marvel at the way that Michael Myers is always present, always lurking in the background, sometimes so subtly you don't notice it until a later viewing.
2. The Abominable Dr. Phibes
Robert Fuest, 1971
Oh, the colors. Oh, the art deco. Oh, Vulnavia. I mean, er, oh, the wicked humor (“I think it has a left-hand thread”). The Abominable Dr. Phibes is a truly one-of-a-kind film. Lacking the use of his voice (at least on-set), Vincent Price goes completely over the top with a flamboyant, theatrical performance that is both riveting and surprisingly affecting on an emotional level. He never feels out of place, though, as the movie careens wrecklessly from bizarre to nightmarish to hilarious and back again, all the while never less than stunning to look at. I can never get tired of this movie.
1. Dawn of the Dead
George A. Romero, 1978
The best of them all, and one of my very favorite movies, period. Romero took the core of the idea he developed in Night. . . (that we are our own worst enemies) and ran with it, creating a treatise on malaise and complacency (as exemplified by consumer culture) that has never been topped. This was also one of the first movies to feature makeup effects by Tom Savini, and while they’re not really realistic at all, they are enjoyable. It’s often considered to be sort of a horror-comedy, but I don’t really think that’s true. There’s comedy to be had, mostly in the satirical aspects of the film, but it’s a wry humor, tinged with sadness. There are several cuts of this movie available, but the one you’ll want to see is the original theatrical, as the festival version drags and the Italian version is missing too much important material. That said, the festival cut does contain one scene that I really miss in the theatrical – when our heroes are procuring the helicopter for their escape, early on, they encounter a soldier who is stealing a boat for the same purpose. He asks if they have any cigarettes, they say no. The next shot is our heroes lighting up in the helicopter as it takes off. Good guys or bad guys, when the end of the world comes, it’s every man for himself.
10. The Devil’s Backbone
Guillermo Del Toro, 2001
Pan's Labyrinth got all of the attention, but this earlier film is Del Toro's true masterpiece. It's a haunting story (hah! Thank you, I'll be here all week), focusing heavily on the weight of history and the the pain and regret that people feel over their mistakes. The ghosts are really just outward manifestations of that – both metaphorically and, to a surprising degree, literally. As with Pan's, Del Toro wrings a strong set of performances out of a young cast that probably shouldn't be capable of it yet. A triumph on all levels.
9. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Tobe Hooper, 1974
Infamously violent yet shockingly non-graphic, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is one of the most grueling, intense moviegoing experiences you will ever have. It all begins with a very particular sound – that of a flashbulb firing. It's loud, sudden, and totally mundane – yet it puts you right on edge. That sound basically typifies the movie as a whole – it's painfully normal, almost drab, but still just far enough off of center to be unnerving. Even when the movie descends into nightmarish chaos in the last third, that smothering drabness (and I mean this in a good way, despite my choice of word) is still present.
Also, and unrelated – bonus anti-PC points for having the handicapped character be an utterly unsympathetic asshole.
8. Night of the Living Dead
George A. Romero, 1968
This is zombie patient zero – the very first appearance of what we have come to know as zombies. Before this, the only sort of zombies seen on-screen were the Caribbean, voodoo-type of zombies, which are an entirely different creature. Of course, Romero’s movies are never truly about the zombies, but rather what they reveal about us. Even now, 40 years later, the ending still has the ability to enrage and shock.
7. The Thing
John Carpenter, 1982
John Carpenter's The Thing proves two things. First, that remakes can be superior to the source (especially when the source is as ridiculous and backward-looking as it is in this case), and second, that good, old-fashioned latex-based physical effects can accomplish anything. Of course, all of those brilliant effects wouldn't mean much if they were presented poorly, but fortunately, The Thing is a textbook example of how to make this sort of film. It is, essentially, flawless.
6. The Fly
David Cronenberg, 1986
Another remake that blows the original out of the water. Of course, as with The Thing, the movie is so different that it is hardly recognizable as a remake. In this case, Cronenberg has taken the bare bones of the original The Fly and shaped it into a grueling (both emotionally and viscerally) parable about aging and disease. Fantastic stuff.
5. Return of the Living Dead
Dan O’bannon, 1985
Return of the Living Dead manages to do something that very few other movies have ever pulled off – it is both scary and funny. Sure, there have been successful horror comedies in the past (several of which are on this list), but, while they succeed as comedies (which is usually the primary intent) and they succeed as horror movies, they still aren’t really scary. This one is. The zombies are incredibly menacing and frightening, but also provide some of the funniest moments I’ve ever seen on screen (“send more paramedics”). It’s a difficult tightrope to walk, but Return of the Living Dead never falls apart the way it probably ought to. Wrap it all up with that beautifully nihilistic ending, and you’ve got a winner.
4. Don’t Look Now
Nicholas Roeg, 1973
It’s all about the ending with this one, which just might be the single most terrifying moment I’ve ever experienced in a movie. The rest of the movie is terrific as well – a gut-wrenching portrait of a couple trying to move on after the death of their daughter – but there’s not much fear to be had. You could be forgiven for thinking you were watching some sort of prestige drama – which in many ways, it is. But then that moment happens, and it all changes. I shall speak no more of it until you see it for yourselves.
3. Halloween
John Carpenter, 1978
Well, it's Halloween. It's basically the birth of the slasher movie (yes, I know that it bears many similarities to the earlier Black Christmas, but Halloween took the scattered ideas of the movie and really built them into a coherent whole). When John Carpenter was in his prime, no one could wring more suspense out of a few well-chosen shots than him. No one. And this is exhibit A. Watch Laurie's long walk across the street. Watch Annie's excruciating stuck-in-the-window sequence. Watch basically any other sequence in the movie, and marvel at the way that Michael Myers is always present, always lurking in the background, sometimes so subtly you don't notice it until a later viewing.
2. The Abominable Dr. Phibes
Robert Fuest, 1971
Oh, the colors. Oh, the art deco. Oh, Vulnavia. I mean, er, oh, the wicked humor (“I think it has a left-hand thread”). The Abominable Dr. Phibes is a truly one-of-a-kind film. Lacking the use of his voice (at least on-set), Vincent Price goes completely over the top with a flamboyant, theatrical performance that is both riveting and surprisingly affecting on an emotional level. He never feels out of place, though, as the movie careens wrecklessly from bizarre to nightmarish to hilarious and back again, all the while never less than stunning to look at. I can never get tired of this movie.
1. Dawn of the Dead
George A. Romero, 1978
The best of them all, and one of my very favorite movies, period. Romero took the core of the idea he developed in Night. . . (that we are our own worst enemies) and ran with it, creating a treatise on malaise and complacency (as exemplified by consumer culture) that has never been topped. This was also one of the first movies to feature makeup effects by Tom Savini, and while they’re not really realistic at all, they are enjoyable. It’s often considered to be sort of a horror-comedy, but I don’t really think that’s true. There’s comedy to be had, mostly in the satirical aspects of the film, but it’s a wry humor, tinged with sadness. There are several cuts of this movie available, but the one you’ll want to see is the original theatrical, as the festival version drags and the Italian version is missing too much important material. That said, the festival cut does contain one scene that I really miss in the theatrical – when our heroes are procuring the helicopter for their escape, early on, they encounter a soldier who is stealing a boat for the same purpose. He asks if they have any cigarettes, they say no. The next shot is our heroes lighting up in the helicopter as it takes off. Good guys or bad guys, when the end of the world comes, it’s every man for himself.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
22. Nomads
Nomads
John McTiernan, 1986
A young doctor (Lesley-Anne Down)receives the memories of a dead anthropologist (Pierce Brosnan), who spent the last week of his life investigating a family of evil, nomadic spirits.
Not great, but oddly memorable - and a breath of fresh air after the crap I've been wading through lately. Once you get past the opening scenes, Down is just terrible, and it's hard to believe that anyone though it was okay to let Brosnan try that French accent. Beyond that, the movie just reeks of the 80's, for better or worse. There's just something about it, though. The core idea is a strong one, and casting the evil spirits as a sort of modern(ish) counterculture merged the supernatural and the natural in an unsettling way. A couple of sequences (Brosnan's first pursuit of the nomads; his encounter with the nun) just creep the hell out of me. I'm not sure if I can really call it a success (although numerically, I'm rating it like one), but I came away somewhat pleased, and may revisit it in the future.
6.5/10
John McTiernan, 1986
A young doctor (Lesley-Anne Down)receives the memories of a dead anthropologist (Pierce Brosnan), who spent the last week of his life investigating a family of evil, nomadic spirits.
Not great, but oddly memorable - and a breath of fresh air after the crap I've been wading through lately. Once you get past the opening scenes, Down is just terrible, and it's hard to believe that anyone though it was okay to let Brosnan try that French accent. Beyond that, the movie just reeks of the 80's, for better or worse. There's just something about it, though. The core idea is a strong one, and casting the evil spirits as a sort of modern(ish) counterculture merged the supernatural and the natural in an unsettling way. A couple of sequences (Brosnan's first pursuit of the nomads; his encounter with the nun) just creep the hell out of me. I'm not sure if I can really call it a success (although numerically, I'm rating it like one), but I came away somewhat pleased, and may revisit it in the future.
6.5/10
21. Crawlspace
Crawlspace
David Schmoeller, 1986
A creepy german doctor (Klaus Kinski) rents out rooms to young women, spies on them from the airducts, and eventually kills them.
Crawlspace has a horrendously sleazy premise - it's just too bad the movie doesn't live up to it. It has all of the narrative weaknesses that you'd expect from an exploitation movie with a premise like that - but almost none of the sex and violence. Honestly, I'm not sure how I stayed awake. What's left? Well, there are some interesting deathtraps (that only sort of come into play), and Kinski is always interesting to watch. So not much.
2.5/10
David Schmoeller, 1986
A creepy german doctor (Klaus Kinski) rents out rooms to young women, spies on them from the airducts, and eventually kills them.
Crawlspace has a horrendously sleazy premise - it's just too bad the movie doesn't live up to it. It has all of the narrative weaknesses that you'd expect from an exploitation movie with a premise like that - but almost none of the sex and violence. Honestly, I'm not sure how I stayed awake. What's left? Well, there are some interesting deathtraps (that only sort of come into play), and Kinski is always interesting to watch. So not much.
2.5/10
20. Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein
Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein
Charles Barton, 1948
Only a pair of railroad baggage handlers can save the world from Dracula's evil plot to re-animate Frankenstein's monster.
This was my first and, I dare say, last Abbott and Costello movie. They turned out to be another one of those old comedy teams that just don't work for me. Even bringing Bela Lugosi back to his signature role wasn't enough to save the movie. Other than Lugosi, the only real enjoyment I got from it was the uncredited cameo appearance at the end (which I won't spoil).
3/10
Charles Barton, 1948
Only a pair of railroad baggage handlers can save the world from Dracula's evil plot to re-animate Frankenstein's monster.
This was my first and, I dare say, last Abbott and Costello movie. They turned out to be another one of those old comedy teams that just don't work for me. Even bringing Bela Lugosi back to his signature role wasn't enough to save the movie. Other than Lugosi, the only real enjoyment I got from it was the uncredited cameo appearance at the end (which I won't spoil).
3/10
19. Messiah of Evil
Messiah of Evil
Willard Huyck, 1973
A young woman comes to a quiet seaside town, looking for her father. She finds zombies. Or an evil cult. Or both. Something like that.
This was an odd one. After watching the whole thing, I'm still not sure what was going on - and I'm pretty sure the pre-credits sequence had nothing to do with anything. What it lacked in sense, though, it made up for in atmosphere, some fantastic art direction, and a couple of really solid setpieces. I think I'll need to see it again to really work out what I think about it, but for now, I'm a fan.
7.5/10
Willard Huyck, 1973
A young woman comes to a quiet seaside town, looking for her father. She finds zombies. Or an evil cult. Or both. Something like that.
This was an odd one. After watching the whole thing, I'm still not sure what was going on - and I'm pretty sure the pre-credits sequence had nothing to do with anything. What it lacked in sense, though, it made up for in atmosphere, some fantastic art direction, and a couple of really solid setpieces. I think I'll need to see it again to really work out what I think about it, but for now, I'm a fan.
7.5/10
Sunday, October 24, 2010
2010 Haunt Reviews: Field of Corpses
Field of Corpses
13251 West 64th Avenue
Arvada, CO
Each year, Field of Corpses manages to cram a bit more detail, a few more props, a couple more turns into their haunt. The sets themselves are nearly overwhelming with all the little bits and pieces. Despite this, Field of Corpses remains very much actor-driven, to the point that they even send you through with a guide. This is both a blessing and a curse, as on the one hand, it makes for a more unique experience, but on the other, the quality of that experience rests heavily on one actor. The first year I went, I had a fantastic guide, and it was one of the very best haunts. The second time, the guide didn't seem to really want to be there, and it was very disappointing. This year, my guide fell somewhere between the two extremes, as he was enthusiastic and got into the role, but also tried to rush us through much of the haunt. As a result, my experience was fairly middle of the road. If nothing else, Field of Corpses is worth a visit just to see what they've built - but it's important to note that you can never be sure how effective it will be on the whole.
7/10
13251 West 64th Avenue
Arvada, CO
Each year, Field of Corpses manages to cram a bit more detail, a few more props, a couple more turns into their haunt. The sets themselves are nearly overwhelming with all the little bits and pieces. Despite this, Field of Corpses remains very much actor-driven, to the point that they even send you through with a guide. This is both a blessing and a curse, as on the one hand, it makes for a more unique experience, but on the other, the quality of that experience rests heavily on one actor. The first year I went, I had a fantastic guide, and it was one of the very best haunts. The second time, the guide didn't seem to really want to be there, and it was very disappointing. This year, my guide fell somewhere between the two extremes, as he was enthusiastic and got into the role, but also tried to rush us through much of the haunt. As a result, my experience was fairly middle of the road. If nothing else, Field of Corpses is worth a visit just to see what they've built - but it's important to note that you can never be sure how effective it will be on the whole.
7/10
18. Carrie
Carrie
Brian De Palma, 1976
A tormented teen develops telekinetic powers and uses them to take revenge.
Well, it's not the masterpiece it is often made out to be, but it's not too bad, either. The lengthy prom sequence, and much of what follows, is actually pretty good - which is pretty surprising, given the awkward and tone-deaf hour that precedes it. Carrie's mother, who serves as the cause of most of the events of the movie, is written and played so broadly that calling her a cartoon character would be a gross understatement (Apparently, Piper Laurie thought the movie was a comedy, based on the way her character was written). The last half hour goes a long way toward redeeming, though. Just not long enough, really.
4.5/10
Brian De Palma, 1976
A tormented teen develops telekinetic powers and uses them to take revenge.
Well, it's not the masterpiece it is often made out to be, but it's not too bad, either. The lengthy prom sequence, and much of what follows, is actually pretty good - which is pretty surprising, given the awkward and tone-deaf hour that precedes it. Carrie's mother, who serves as the cause of most of the events of the movie, is written and played so broadly that calling her a cartoon character would be a gross understatement (Apparently, Piper Laurie thought the movie was a comedy, based on the way her character was written). The last half hour goes a long way toward redeeming, though. Just not long enough, really.
4.5/10
17. Triangle
Triangle
Christopher Smith, 2010
After their yacht is capsized in a storm, a small group of people find themselves trapped on an abandoned steamship - with a killer.
This was an interesting one. If you go into it expecting the basic stalk-and-kill implied by my one-line synopsis above, you're either going to be very disappointed or very happy - but either way, it won't be what you expected. I won't go into any further detail on that point; it's probably better just to see for yourself. The only reason I don't rate it higher is the excess of cheap CGI (probably unavoidable, under the circumstances) and some very clunky dialogue, particularly anytime exposition comes into play. Still, this is basically the sort of gem you're always hoping for when you dig through the mountains of direct-to-video dreck out there. Because of that, I would definitely give it a higher recommendation than my numerical rating would suggest.
7.5/10
Christopher Smith, 2010
After their yacht is capsized in a storm, a small group of people find themselves trapped on an abandoned steamship - with a killer.
This was an interesting one. If you go into it expecting the basic stalk-and-kill implied by my one-line synopsis above, you're either going to be very disappointed or very happy - but either way, it won't be what you expected. I won't go into any further detail on that point; it's probably better just to see for yourself. The only reason I don't rate it higher is the excess of cheap CGI (probably unavoidable, under the circumstances) and some very clunky dialogue, particularly anytime exposition comes into play. Still, this is basically the sort of gem you're always hoping for when you dig through the mountains of direct-to-video dreck out there. Because of that, I would definitely give it a higher recommendation than my numerical rating would suggest.
7.5/10
16. Paranormal Activity
Paranormal Activity
Oren Peli, 2009
A young couple is terrorized by a demon, and catches it all on tape.
Not the scariest movie of all time, as some would have you believe, nor an utter travesty, as its detractors would claim, Paranormal Activity is a small, unambitious, but mostly successful movie that managed to put me just enough on edge that the slower segments weren't boring. I can't say that the conceit of shooting the whole movie with cameras held by the characters really added anything to it for me, but it didn't really hurt it. Despite the fact that many consider this to be a plotless, arcless thrill ride, I've actually found that the characters and their reactions to things have stuck with me more than anything else.
7.5/10
Oren Peli, 2009
A young couple is terrorized by a demon, and catches it all on tape.
Not the scariest movie of all time, as some would have you believe, nor an utter travesty, as its detractors would claim, Paranormal Activity is a small, unambitious, but mostly successful movie that managed to put me just enough on edge that the slower segments weren't boring. I can't say that the conceit of shooting the whole movie with cameras held by the characters really added anything to it for me, but it didn't really hurt it. Despite the fact that many consider this to be a plotless, arcless thrill ride, I've actually found that the characters and their reactions to things have stuck with me more than anything else.
7.5/10
2010 Haunt Reviews: Haunted Field of Screams
Haunted Field of Screams
104th and Riverdale
Thornton, CO
Haunted Field of Screams is a solid but unspectacular haunt, larger than most and populated with a small army of actors, but featuring a bit too much repetition and generally unimpressive makeup and costumes. The basic structure is a walk through a cornfield, with periodic trips through various small buildings. The focus of the haunt is on the cornfield itself, as one would expect - after all, it provides a sort of production value that you can't easily recreate. Unfortunately, it's the most repetitive and dull portion - someone steps out of the corn, maybe yells or growls a bit, rinse and repeat. The varied environments inside the buildings allow for a little more variety, so it would have been nice to see more of that. Still, if you have a thing about corn, or you're a jumpy sort to begin with, you'll definitely get your money's worth out of this one.
7/10
104th and Riverdale
Thornton, CO
Haunted Field of Screams is a solid but unspectacular haunt, larger than most and populated with a small army of actors, but featuring a bit too much repetition and generally unimpressive makeup and costumes. The basic structure is a walk through a cornfield, with periodic trips through various small buildings. The focus of the haunt is on the cornfield itself, as one would expect - after all, it provides a sort of production value that you can't easily recreate. Unfortunately, it's the most repetitive and dull portion - someone steps out of the corn, maybe yells or growls a bit, rinse and repeat. The varied environments inside the buildings allow for a little more variety, so it would have been nice to see more of that. Still, if you have a thing about corn, or you're a jumpy sort to begin with, you'll definitely get your money's worth out of this one.
7/10
Friday, October 22, 2010
2010 Haunt Reviews: City of the Dead
City of the Dead
7007 e. 88th Ave
Henderson, CO
City of the Dead is much the same as it was last year - but that's generally a good thing, because they really nailed it last year. Unfortunately, there have been several small changes for the worse, which prevent me from rating it quite as highly as I did before. First, they eliminated most of the pre-haunt area. I really enjoyed the sort of undead carnival atmosphere last year, and it really set the tone for the haunt itself. Second, this year's Judge was not nearly as effective as lasts. Most importantly, though, they redesigned the layout just enough so that you no longer get that first, mind-blowing look at the entirety of the City. Like I said, though, these are little things, and there's still so much that they do well. The actors are all very aggressive and do a great job of sticking to their characters. The sets and makeup are across-the-board fantastic, probably the best in town. It was all so effective and realistic that my haunting partner very nearly had to bail out halfway through because she just couldn't take it. It's not a haunt for the faint of heart (as with last year, it's by far the most disgusting haunt I've seen), but if you're looking a little rougher, you probably won't do better than this.
9/10
7007 e. 88th Ave
Henderson, CO
City of the Dead is much the same as it was last year - but that's generally a good thing, because they really nailed it last year. Unfortunately, there have been several small changes for the worse, which prevent me from rating it quite as highly as I did before. First, they eliminated most of the pre-haunt area. I really enjoyed the sort of undead carnival atmosphere last year, and it really set the tone for the haunt itself. Second, this year's Judge was not nearly as effective as lasts. Most importantly, though, they redesigned the layout just enough so that you no longer get that first, mind-blowing look at the entirety of the City. Like I said, though, these are little things, and there's still so much that they do well. The actors are all very aggressive and do a great job of sticking to their characters. The sets and makeup are across-the-board fantastic, probably the best in town. It was all so effective and realistic that my haunting partner very nearly had to bail out halfway through because she just couldn't take it. It's not a haunt for the faint of heart (as with last year, it's by far the most disgusting haunt I've seen), but if you're looking a little rougher, you probably won't do better than this.
9/10
2010 Haunt Reviews: Primitive Fear
Primitive Fear
5155 East 64th Ave
Commerce City, CO
In addition to renovating the 13th Street Manor, the good people at Hauntplex have also recreated their signature haunt, Primitive Fear. The results are not quite as impressive, but it's still a massive step up from what had become a reliable, but boring old standby. Primitive Fear now features a much more cohesive setting - essentially, a network of underground tunnels - and, to my eye, a much improved level of detail. There is a hallway of shrouded corpses very early on that is legitimately breathtaking, and the old sewer tunnels have been redressed and reoriented in a much more satisfying way. I cannot emphasize enough how pleased I am with how Hauntplex has stepped up its game, and I hope they can keep it up.
8/10
5155 East 64th Ave
Commerce City, CO
In addition to renovating the 13th Street Manor, the good people at Hauntplex have also recreated their signature haunt, Primitive Fear. The results are not quite as impressive, but it's still a massive step up from what had become a reliable, but boring old standby. Primitive Fear now features a much more cohesive setting - essentially, a network of underground tunnels - and, to my eye, a much improved level of detail. There is a hallway of shrouded corpses very early on that is legitimately breathtaking, and the old sewer tunnels have been redressed and reoriented in a much more satisfying way. I cannot emphasize enough how pleased I am with how Hauntplex has stepped up its game, and I hope they can keep it up.
8/10
2010 Haunt Reviews: The 13th Street Manor
The 13th Street Manor
5155 East 64th Ave
Commerce City, CO
I first visited the 13th Street Manor four or five years ago, when it was brand new. The early advertising and buzz indicated that it would take place entirely within a single mansion full of secret passages. This turned out to be true - at least, for a little while, right at the beginning of the haunt. To say I was disappointed would be an understatement. This year, however, the 13th Street Manor has been completely remade from the ground up, and I'm thrilled to report that it makes good on the promise made so many years ago. There are few things I love more than architectural horror - secret passages, spaces that shouldn't be able to exist - and this haunt makes good use of the concept. They have moving staircases, passages inside of fireplaces, a maze of doors, and plenty more, all built into a very convincing mansion framework. The actors play things a little different in this haunt than in most - there's not much jumping out of shadows and making loud noises to be had. Instead, they play the creepy harassment card, oftentimes trapping you in a room and refusing to show the secret exit until they think you've had enough. It's all fantastically done - my only concern is that, on a weekend where there are more people attending, certain aspects of the haunt (particularly the maze of doors) could cause spacing problems and ruin much of the effect. Still, based solely on my (mid-week) experience, I have to say that this is easily my favorite haunt so far, and probably still will be once the smoke has cleared.
10/10
5155 East 64th Ave
Commerce City, CO
I first visited the 13th Street Manor four or five years ago, when it was brand new. The early advertising and buzz indicated that it would take place entirely within a single mansion full of secret passages. This turned out to be true - at least, for a little while, right at the beginning of the haunt. To say I was disappointed would be an understatement. This year, however, the 13th Street Manor has been completely remade from the ground up, and I'm thrilled to report that it makes good on the promise made so many years ago. There are few things I love more than architectural horror - secret passages, spaces that shouldn't be able to exist - and this haunt makes good use of the concept. They have moving staircases, passages inside of fireplaces, a maze of doors, and plenty more, all built into a very convincing mansion framework. The actors play things a little different in this haunt than in most - there's not much jumping out of shadows and making loud noises to be had. Instead, they play the creepy harassment card, oftentimes trapping you in a room and refusing to show the secret exit until they think you've had enough. It's all fantastically done - my only concern is that, on a weekend where there are more people attending, certain aspects of the haunt (particularly the maze of doors) could cause spacing problems and ruin much of the effect. Still, based solely on my (mid-week) experience, I have to say that this is easily my favorite haunt so far, and probably still will be once the smoke has cleared.
10/10
2010 Haunt Reviews: Bloodlust: The Homecoming and The Suffering
Elitch Gardens Fright Fest
2000 Elitch Circle
Denver, CO 80204
The Suffering
The Suffering is basically a redress of brutal planet, only a little less so (some of the budget seems to have been shifted to the second haunt). It was, in a word, underwhelming. As with any haunt, there were a couple of good scares, but the timing of the animatronics was off, and the sets themselves pretty much just amounted to wooden corridors with some paint. I do have to give credit to the actor who pretended to be animatronic, and to the surprise hidden inside the air-cushion tunnel, but for the most part, the design and implementation of this haunt just seemed lazy.
4/10
Bloodlust: The Homecoming
This haunt, on the other hand, was a little more like it. It is built into the locker room building for the water park, so transforming it into a ravaged high school wasn't too much of a stretch. As a result, the whole thing felt much more real than The Suffering. The actors seemed to be a bit more on their game as well. It wasn't anything special, but definitely the superior of the two haunts and worth visiting.
6/10
Of course, you can't get into the haunts without buying a ticket to Fright Fest, and getting access to the entirety of Elitch Gardens for the night. The whole place is seasonally decorated, with fog machines, gravestones, and red-tinted water. They also have several actors roaming the park to provide scares. I've always found something magical about amusement parks after dark, and during Fright Fest, it's just that much better. Even with underwhelming haunts, Fright Fest as a whole is a terrific experience.
Fright Fest
9/10
2000 Elitch Circle
Denver, CO 80204
The Suffering
The Suffering is basically a redress of brutal planet, only a little less so (some of the budget seems to have been shifted to the second haunt). It was, in a word, underwhelming. As with any haunt, there were a couple of good scares, but the timing of the animatronics was off, and the sets themselves pretty much just amounted to wooden corridors with some paint. I do have to give credit to the actor who pretended to be animatronic, and to the surprise hidden inside the air-cushion tunnel, but for the most part, the design and implementation of this haunt just seemed lazy.
4/10
Bloodlust: The Homecoming
This haunt, on the other hand, was a little more like it. It is built into the locker room building for the water park, so transforming it into a ravaged high school wasn't too much of a stretch. As a result, the whole thing felt much more real than The Suffering. The actors seemed to be a bit more on their game as well. It wasn't anything special, but definitely the superior of the two haunts and worth visiting.
6/10
Of course, you can't get into the haunts without buying a ticket to Fright Fest, and getting access to the entirety of Elitch Gardens for the night. The whole place is seasonally decorated, with fog machines, gravestones, and red-tinted water. They also have several actors roaming the park to provide scares. I've always found something magical about amusement parks after dark, and during Fright Fest, it's just that much better. Even with underwhelming haunts, Fright Fest as a whole is a terrific experience.
Fright Fest
9/10
Monday, October 18, 2010
The 50 Best Horror Movies: #11-15
15. Nosferatu: Phantom Der Nacht
Werner Herzog, 1979
Like much of Herzog's work, Nosferatu is so beautiful and deliberately paced that it's almost hypnotic. While there are no specific images that can match the original Nosferatu for sheer terror, even when they attempt to recreate exact shots, Herzog's film manages to instill a more profound sense of horror – the plague of rats, in particular, is tremendously nightmarish and surreal. This is easily the best version of Dracula on film.
14. The Whip and the Body
Mario Bava, 1963
The Whip and the Body is the ultimate expression of Mario Bava's skills as a director. His use of color is more pronounced, his in-camera trickery more clever. The story falls into the category of many movies on this list, the is-it-or-isn't-it ghost story. Really, the only fault I can find is the fact that Christopher Lee was dubbed by a different actor – and in fact, after this movie, he made it a contractual issue that no one else could ever dub him over for english language tracks.
13. Frankenstein
James Whale, 1931
This is essentially the birth of American horror. While there had been earlier, silent horror films in the states before, they generally turned out to be more like detective stories in the end, with Scooby-Dooesque conclusions. With Frankenstein, however, James Whale took a healthy dose of german expressionism and applied it to an actual tale of horror. He got Jack Pierce to design the most iconic monster makeup ever (even to this day). It was a game-changer, and without it, I doubt much of anything on this list would even exist.
12. Shaun of the Dead
Edgar Wright, 2004
This is what happens when you take a bunch of comedians who have an actual, legitimate affection for a genre and turn them loose on it – not a spoof, not a satire, but an honest, legitimate zombie movie that also happens to be funny as hell. What I love about this movie is that they don’t spend their time condescending to the subject matter (yeah, fuck you, Scream) or criticizing the tropes of the genre, but still find plenty of opportunities to laugh. There’s nothing else quite like it.
11. The Beyond
Lucio Fulci, 1981
This is the most beautiful horror movie I’ve ever seen. It’s a complete disaster as a narrative, but it functions as a weird cross between a painting and a dream, filled with strikingly surreal images and gorgeous compositions that even the occasional shoddy effect (*ahem* tarantulas with teeth) can’t undermine. I often describe movies I love as having a certain sort of indefinable magic; that’s true for this one moreso than most. You really just have to see it.
Werner Herzog, 1979
Like much of Herzog's work, Nosferatu is so beautiful and deliberately paced that it's almost hypnotic. While there are no specific images that can match the original Nosferatu for sheer terror, even when they attempt to recreate exact shots, Herzog's film manages to instill a more profound sense of horror – the plague of rats, in particular, is tremendously nightmarish and surreal. This is easily the best version of Dracula on film.
14. The Whip and the Body
Mario Bava, 1963
The Whip and the Body is the ultimate expression of Mario Bava's skills as a director. His use of color is more pronounced, his in-camera trickery more clever. The story falls into the category of many movies on this list, the is-it-or-isn't-it ghost story. Really, the only fault I can find is the fact that Christopher Lee was dubbed by a different actor – and in fact, after this movie, he made it a contractual issue that no one else could ever dub him over for english language tracks.
13. Frankenstein
James Whale, 1931
This is essentially the birth of American horror. While there had been earlier, silent horror films in the states before, they generally turned out to be more like detective stories in the end, with Scooby-Dooesque conclusions. With Frankenstein, however, James Whale took a healthy dose of german expressionism and applied it to an actual tale of horror. He got Jack Pierce to design the most iconic monster makeup ever (even to this day). It was a game-changer, and without it, I doubt much of anything on this list would even exist.
12. Shaun of the Dead
Edgar Wright, 2004
This is what happens when you take a bunch of comedians who have an actual, legitimate affection for a genre and turn them loose on it – not a spoof, not a satire, but an honest, legitimate zombie movie that also happens to be funny as hell. What I love about this movie is that they don’t spend their time condescending to the subject matter (yeah, fuck you, Scream) or criticizing the tropes of the genre, but still find plenty of opportunities to laugh. There’s nothing else quite like it.
11. The Beyond
Lucio Fulci, 1981
This is the most beautiful horror movie I’ve ever seen. It’s a complete disaster as a narrative, but it functions as a weird cross between a painting and a dream, filled with strikingly surreal images and gorgeous compositions that even the occasional shoddy effect (*ahem* tarantulas with teeth) can’t undermine. I often describe movies I love as having a certain sort of indefinable magic; that’s true for this one moreso than most. You really just have to see it.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
15. Drag Me to Hell
Drag Me to Hell
Sam Raimi, 2009
A loan officer (Alison Lohman) is cursed by a gypsy woman, and has only three days to find a way to avoid being DRAGGED TO HELL.
There was a lot of hype surrounding this movie - it was, after all, a return of one of the greats (Raimi) to the genre he got his start in. What we got, though, was a decidedly mixed bag. There were some wonderfully gooey parts, and the seance in particular was terrifically effective and reminiscent of old-school Raimi. On the other hand, there was a preponderance of cheap-looking CGI (the eye-popping when the anvil falls on the old lady is probably the worst of it), and there was some odd moralizing going on, where the movie seemed to indicate that Lohman's character deserved the curse, which is just stupid. It's a decent way to pass the time, but it's no Evil Dead.
6/10
Sam Raimi, 2009
A loan officer (Alison Lohman) is cursed by a gypsy woman, and has only three days to find a way to avoid being DRAGGED TO HELL.
There was a lot of hype surrounding this movie - it was, after all, a return of one of the greats (Raimi) to the genre he got his start in. What we got, though, was a decidedly mixed bag. There were some wonderfully gooey parts, and the seance in particular was terrifically effective and reminiscent of old-school Raimi. On the other hand, there was a preponderance of cheap-looking CGI (the eye-popping when the anvil falls on the old lady is probably the worst of it), and there was some odd moralizing going on, where the movie seemed to indicate that Lohman's character deserved the curse, which is just stupid. It's a decent way to pass the time, but it's no Evil Dead.
6/10
14. Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust
Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust
Yoshiaki Kawajiri, 2000
A half-vampire, half-human is hired to rescue a young woman from the vampire who kidnapped her. But does she want to be rescued?
Let me break this into pros and cons.
Pros: There's some real inventiveness to some of the monster designs. The aesthetic of merging gothic horror (castles, etc) with post-apocalyptic sci-fi (robot or cyborg horses, tanks) is appealing, if underutilized.
Cons: Every single damn thing about this movie that I didn't mention above.
1/10
Yoshiaki Kawajiri, 2000
A half-vampire, half-human is hired to rescue a young woman from the vampire who kidnapped her. But does she want to be rescued?
Let me break this into pros and cons.
Pros: There's some real inventiveness to some of the monster designs. The aesthetic of merging gothic horror (castles, etc) with post-apocalyptic sci-fi (robot or cyborg horses, tanks) is appealing, if underutilized.
Cons: Every single damn thing about this movie that I didn't mention above.
1/10
13. Without Warning
Without Warning
Greydon Clark, 1980
An alien hunts the most dangerous prey - man. Sadly, Arnold Schwarzenegger is not around to stop him.
Ooh, this was a bad one. Something about the mood felt off, like a sentence that was translated to another language and back again. All of the pieces of the horror movie were there, they just didn't fit together right. Even the presence of veterans like Martin Landau and Jack Palance doesn't help (in fact, Landau is pretty terrible). The design of the alien itself is kind of cool, if a bit boring, but it doesn't fit with the look of the movie at all. Avoid at all costs.
1.5/10
Greydon Clark, 1980
An alien hunts the most dangerous prey - man. Sadly, Arnold Schwarzenegger is not around to stop him.
Ooh, this was a bad one. Something about the mood felt off, like a sentence that was translated to another language and back again. All of the pieces of the horror movie were there, they just didn't fit together right. Even the presence of veterans like Martin Landau and Jack Palance doesn't help (in fact, Landau is pretty terrible). The design of the alien itself is kind of cool, if a bit boring, but it doesn't fit with the look of the movie at all. Avoid at all costs.
1.5/10
12. Dead of Night
Dead of Night
Various directors, 1945
A group of people gather at an old house, and wind up telling each other stories of encounters with the supernatural.
This anthology is best known for the evil ventriloquist dummy segment, and rightly so - it's fantastic. Unfortunately the rest of the segments range from mediocre (the haunted mirror) to downright terrible (the ghostly golfer, the Christmas party). The main problem is that everything is simply too reserved to be at all unsettling, at least until you reach the final segment, where Michael Redgrave gives a wonderfully unhinged performance as the ventriloquist and almost manages to single-handedly salvage the project. It's worth watching that, as well as the deliriously surreal nightmare sequence that serves as the conclusion to the framing story, but it's not really worth watching anything else.
3.5/10
Various directors, 1945
A group of people gather at an old house, and wind up telling each other stories of encounters with the supernatural.
This anthology is best known for the evil ventriloquist dummy segment, and rightly so - it's fantastic. Unfortunately the rest of the segments range from mediocre (the haunted mirror) to downright terrible (the ghostly golfer, the Christmas party). The main problem is that everything is simply too reserved to be at all unsettling, at least until you reach the final segment, where Michael Redgrave gives a wonderfully unhinged performance as the ventriloquist and almost manages to single-handedly salvage the project. It's worth watching that, as well as the deliriously surreal nightmare sequence that serves as the conclusion to the framing story, but it's not really worth watching anything else.
3.5/10
11. Island of Lost Souls
Island of Lost Souls
Erle C. Kenton, 1932
A shipwrecked man winds up on the island of Dr. Moreau (Charles Laughton), who is experimenting with surgically turning animals into people.
This is quite the mess. It's too short to convincingly develop any of the relationships, the hero doesn't really have anything to do with how the plot turns out, and Bela Lugosi is criminally underused. The only thing it really has going for it is Laughton's performance, which is second only to Ernest Thesiger's Dr. Pretorious for effeminate camp value.
2/10
Erle C. Kenton, 1932
A shipwrecked man winds up on the island of Dr. Moreau (Charles Laughton), who is experimenting with surgically turning animals into people.
This is quite the mess. It's too short to convincingly develop any of the relationships, the hero doesn't really have anything to do with how the plot turns out, and Bela Lugosi is criminally underused. The only thing it really has going for it is Laughton's performance, which is second only to Ernest Thesiger's Dr. Pretorious for effeminate camp value.
2/10
10. Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer
Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer
John McNaughton, 1990
Henry (Michael Rooker) kills people. Eventually, he gets his friends to kill people too.
Decent but nothing special. Rooker is very good, but no one else really is. Also, the score doesn't fit the movie and a particular directorial trick (panning across a corpse and playing the sounds of the murder on the soundtrack instead of showing the murder) gets used a few too many times. The ending is pretty good, though, and it's not really bad at all - just kind of blah.
6/10
John McNaughton, 1990
Henry (Michael Rooker) kills people. Eventually, he gets his friends to kill people too.
Decent but nothing special. Rooker is very good, but no one else really is. Also, the score doesn't fit the movie and a particular directorial trick (panning across a corpse and playing the sounds of the murder on the soundtrack instead of showing the murder) gets used a few too many times. The ending is pretty good, though, and it's not really bad at all - just kind of blah.
6/10
Friday, October 15, 2010
2010 Haunt Reviews: The Asylum
The Asylum
11425 Community Center Drive
Northglenn, CO
I love the Asylum. Year after year, they never let me down. I think there's a very simple reason for that. In one word: Performance. At the Asylum, they are by necessity unable to put on the sort of grandiose show in terms of props and sets that you'd see at, say, Frightmare or City of the Dead. It is, after all, a tent in the parking lot of the Boondocks Fun Center. They deal with this by keeping the sets dark and relatively simple, then populating them with what is probably the best set of haunt actors in the state. They consistently managed to find the sweet spot between jumping out of the shadows and growling (scary, but shallow) and playing characters (not so scary, but more interesting), giving us the best aspects of both. My only disappointment with the haunt was that, unlike the other years that I've attended, there wasn't one notably clever bit that stuck with me afterward - but the entire haunt was so solid, it isn't really an issue.
9/10.
11425 Community Center Drive
Northglenn, CO
I love the Asylum. Year after year, they never let me down. I think there's a very simple reason for that. In one word: Performance. At the Asylum, they are by necessity unable to put on the sort of grandiose show in terms of props and sets that you'd see at, say, Frightmare or City of the Dead. It is, after all, a tent in the parking lot of the Boondocks Fun Center. They deal with this by keeping the sets dark and relatively simple, then populating them with what is probably the best set of haunt actors in the state. They consistently managed to find the sweet spot between jumping out of the shadows and growling (scary, but shallow) and playing characters (not so scary, but more interesting), giving us the best aspects of both. My only disappointment with the haunt was that, unlike the other years that I've attended, there wasn't one notably clever bit that stuck with me afterward - but the entire haunt was so solid, it isn't really an issue.
9/10.
2010 Haunt Reviews: Dungeon of Terror
Dungeon of Terror
1741 E 120th Ave
Northglenn, CO
Although this is not the first year that Dungeon of Terror has been open, I had never heard of it until the same day that I visited. Unfortunately, I think there's a reason for that - while I can appreciate the effort put into it, it's really just not up to the level of the more well-known haunts. It felt unfinished and awkward, from the line and entryway that lacked any sort of atmosphere or preparation for the haunt to come to the points at which you step outside of the structure briefly, and find yourself out in a plain field, in full view of the parking lot.
This is not to say it's a waste of time. The actors were generally enthusiastic, so you will get a few decent jump scares. A lot of effort clearly went into some of the rooms, and there was one (with the outer space aesthetic) that was very effective. It just doesn't come together very well, lacking that level of polish. Really, I'd say it felt like an overgrown home haunt. I did enjoy it, but I can't recommend it.
3/10
1741 E 120th Ave
Northglenn, CO
Although this is not the first year that Dungeon of Terror has been open, I had never heard of it until the same day that I visited. Unfortunately, I think there's a reason for that - while I can appreciate the effort put into it, it's really just not up to the level of the more well-known haunts. It felt unfinished and awkward, from the line and entryway that lacked any sort of atmosphere or preparation for the haunt to come to the points at which you step outside of the structure briefly, and find yourself out in a plain field, in full view of the parking lot.
This is not to say it's a waste of time. The actors were generally enthusiastic, so you will get a few decent jump scares. A lot of effort clearly went into some of the rooms, and there was one (with the outer space aesthetic) that was very effective. It just doesn't come together very well, lacking that level of polish. Really, I'd say it felt like an overgrown home haunt. I did enjoy it, but I can't recommend it.
3/10
Friday, October 8, 2010
The 50 Best Horror Movies: #16-20
20. Alien
Ridley Scott, 1979
As we progress through this list, you're going to start seeing more and more established classics that should come as no surprise – after all, they're on everyone's lists. This is a prime example of such a movie – a spooky old house movie perfectly transposed into outer space, with sets and creatures designed by a crazy European. There is not a moment that feels wrong (unless you watch the newer director's cut).
19. An American Werewolf in London
John Landis, 1981
This is the movie they invented the makeup effects Academy Award for, and once you see the central werewolf transformation scene, you’ll know why. It’s not all about werewolves, though – there’s a very prominent ghost element as well, which provides most of the funniest moments (although nothing can top “Mummy, a naked American man stole my balloons”), and some random nightmare monsters too. There has never been a better werewolf movie, although to be fair, that's not all that difficult.
18. I Walked with a Zombie
Jacques Tourneur, 1943
The movies of producer Val Lewton are often credited largely to him, creatively speaking. This is not unreasonable, as there is a certain consistency to them, despite the several different directors who worked on them. Still, his collaborations with Jacques Tourneur do displace a certain visual panache that the other films tend not to match. This, then, is not only the best of their collaborations, but also the best of Lewton's films, period. It's a gorgeous, moody piece that somehow, despite its short length, feels almost like a novel, particularly of the gothic era.
17. Dellamorte Dellamore
Michele Soavi, 1996
The first time I was asked to describe this movie, I said it was Dawn of the Dead crossed with Brazil. I'm not a huge fan of describing movies in that way, but it's pretty spot-on in this case. You have Brazil's surrealism, its bubbly, quirky, yet still depressing humor, and its obsession with bureaucracy, coupled with Dawn's social criticism, sense of malaise, and, of course, zombies. It's a potent combination, and makes for an unforgettable movie.
16. The Shining
Stanley Kubrick, 1980
Stephen King wishes he could write a book as good as this movie. Yes, the character arc is truncated compared to the novel. Yes, it skews more in the direction of standard horror tropes than the novel (axe vs. croquet mallet). But it also trims a lot of fat, and those tropes are wielded as surely and effectively as possible. Is there anything that has ever been as nerve-wrackingly creepy as the long tracking shots as Danny rides through the hallways? OR the woman in the bathtub? Plus, hedge maze beats topiary animals any day. King is right about one thing – it's not a good adaptation of the novel. But we're all better off for it.
Ridley Scott, 1979
As we progress through this list, you're going to start seeing more and more established classics that should come as no surprise – after all, they're on everyone's lists. This is a prime example of such a movie – a spooky old house movie perfectly transposed into outer space, with sets and creatures designed by a crazy European. There is not a moment that feels wrong (unless you watch the newer director's cut).
19. An American Werewolf in London
John Landis, 1981
This is the movie they invented the makeup effects Academy Award for, and once you see the central werewolf transformation scene, you’ll know why. It’s not all about werewolves, though – there’s a very prominent ghost element as well, which provides most of the funniest moments (although nothing can top “Mummy, a naked American man stole my balloons”), and some random nightmare monsters too. There has never been a better werewolf movie, although to be fair, that's not all that difficult.
18. I Walked with a Zombie
Jacques Tourneur, 1943
The movies of producer Val Lewton are often credited largely to him, creatively speaking. This is not unreasonable, as there is a certain consistency to them, despite the several different directors who worked on them. Still, his collaborations with Jacques Tourneur do displace a certain visual panache that the other films tend not to match. This, then, is not only the best of their collaborations, but also the best of Lewton's films, period. It's a gorgeous, moody piece that somehow, despite its short length, feels almost like a novel, particularly of the gothic era.
17. Dellamorte Dellamore
Michele Soavi, 1996
The first time I was asked to describe this movie, I said it was Dawn of the Dead crossed with Brazil. I'm not a huge fan of describing movies in that way, but it's pretty spot-on in this case. You have Brazil's surrealism, its bubbly, quirky, yet still depressing humor, and its obsession with bureaucracy, coupled with Dawn's social criticism, sense of malaise, and, of course, zombies. It's a potent combination, and makes for an unforgettable movie.
16. The Shining
Stanley Kubrick, 1980
Stephen King wishes he could write a book as good as this movie. Yes, the character arc is truncated compared to the novel. Yes, it skews more in the direction of standard horror tropes than the novel (axe vs. croquet mallet). But it also trims a lot of fat, and those tropes are wielded as surely and effectively as possible. Is there anything that has ever been as nerve-wrackingly creepy as the long tracking shots as Danny rides through the hallways? OR the woman in the bathtub? Plus, hedge maze beats topiary animals any day. King is right about one thing – it's not a good adaptation of the novel. But we're all better off for it.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
2010 Haunt Reviews: Frightmare
Frightmare
108th and Old Wadsworth
Westminster, CO
Last year I gave Frightmare a rating of 8/10. This year, I may as well do the same, because that's basically what it was – more of the same. That's not a bad thing by any means, as they do what they do very well, and they do mix it up just enough to keep things fresh (the final segment in the farmhouse is completely different from last year), but it does mean that Frightmare may be more of an “every other year” haunt, where the cumulative changes will make it a more distinct experience.
That said, if you've never been to Frightmare before and you're looking for a haunt in Denver, it's probably one of your best options. It's one of the most consistently effective, owing largely to the desolate outdoor setting. The actors are generally enthusiastic, and they tend to have a larger contingent of older actors, which creates a greater sense of verisimilitude than a collection of high school students would.
Oddly enough, one of the most frightening parts of the haunt was actually not part of the haunt. While we were in line, the ticket-taker told us that there would be a bit of a delay because one of the people going through ahead of us passed out, presumably from fright. This was very disconcerting for certain members of our party, who were already a bit on edge anyway. On the other hand, some of us figured it was just some well-timed William Castle-esque showmanship. Sure enough, though, as we exited the haunt, there was an ambulance. Go figure.
8/10
108th and Old Wadsworth
Westminster, CO
Last year I gave Frightmare a rating of 8/10. This year, I may as well do the same, because that's basically what it was – more of the same. That's not a bad thing by any means, as they do what they do very well, and they do mix it up just enough to keep things fresh (the final segment in the farmhouse is completely different from last year), but it does mean that Frightmare may be more of an “every other year” haunt, where the cumulative changes will make it a more distinct experience.That said, if you've never been to Frightmare before and you're looking for a haunt in Denver, it's probably one of your best options. It's one of the most consistently effective, owing largely to the desolate outdoor setting. The actors are generally enthusiastic, and they tend to have a larger contingent of older actors, which creates a greater sense of verisimilitude than a collection of high school students would.
Oddly enough, one of the most frightening parts of the haunt was actually not part of the haunt. While we were in line, the ticket-taker told us that there would be a bit of a delay because one of the people going through ahead of us passed out, presumably from fright. This was very disconcerting for certain members of our party, who were already a bit on edge anyway. On the other hand, some of us figured it was just some well-timed William Castle-esque showmanship. Sure enough, though, as we exited the haunt, there was an ambulance. Go figure.
8/10
Sunday, October 3, 2010
The 50 Best Horror Movies: #21-25
25. The Ring
Gore Verbinski, 2002
One of the few cases where a remake improves on the source (you’ll see a couple more later in the list), The Ring pales in comparison to Ringu only in the visualization of the infamous climax. That lapse is forgivable, however, since it comes with stronger characters, a better-fleshed out backstory, and the fact that this time, every second character in the movie is not a psychic. There’s also a really tremendous feeling of sadness and regret hanging over the movie, giving it a lot more emotional resonance than I would have expected. It turned out to be a real, honest, character-driven movie, so the fact that (SPOILER) isn’t as scary as in the original hardly even matters.
24. The Creature from the Black Lagoon
Jack Arnold, 1954
By the fifties, the gothic horror boom that birthed the classic Universal stable of monsters had run its course, replaced with scientific horrors – aliens, giant bugs, you name it. Nonetheless, they managed to squeeze out one final creature worthy of standing amongst the greats, combining the pathos of Frankenstein’s monster with a more modern background and what is probably the greatest black and white monster design ever committed to film. The story is, basically, an old standby – people go exploring and find a monster, monster falls in love with the girl, people have to rescue the girl from the monster – but the details make it sing.
23. Re-Animator
Stuart Gordon, 1985
Re-Animator is best known for the infamous naked girl/zombie head scene, as referenced in American Beauty. While that bit definitely typifies the tone of the movie, it would be a shame to reduce it all down to that moment. You’d miss out on the slyly clever script, the (rest of) the exquisitely crafted gore, and most of all, Jeffrey Combs’ career-making, brilliantly twitchy performance as Dr. Herbert West. It may be the least Lovecraftian of all the H.P. Lovecraft adaptations out there (it’s debatable), but when it’s this good, who cares?
22. Black Sabbath
Mario Bava, 1963
If you only have a half hour and you want to watch something from this list, watch the third segment (or the first segment if you’re watching the American dubbed/re-edited version, which I have not seen) of this film, “A Drop of Water.” The rest of the movie is great as well – perhaps a tad workmanlike, but still enlivened by Bava’s unmatched visual instincts and use of color – but it’s all about “A Drop of Water.” There is no more terrifying short subject out there.
21. Stagefright
Michele Soavi, 1987
Sleek and stylish, Stagefright manages to be incredibly surreal without ever disrupting the sense of reality. There’s never a point where you actually question what you’re seeing (at least until the very end. . . maybe), but it still feels very bizarre – after all, it’s about an avant-garde acting troupe trapped inside of a theater with a killer wearing a giant owl head. The English dub is a tad over-baked (just listen to Giovanni Lombardo Radice’s utterly ridiculous gay stereotype), although there are those who would claim that it makes it better.
Gore Verbinski, 2002
One of the few cases where a remake improves on the source (you’ll see a couple more later in the list), The Ring pales in comparison to Ringu only in the visualization of the infamous climax. That lapse is forgivable, however, since it comes with stronger characters, a better-fleshed out backstory, and the fact that this time, every second character in the movie is not a psychic. There’s also a really tremendous feeling of sadness and regret hanging over the movie, giving it a lot more emotional resonance than I would have expected. It turned out to be a real, honest, character-driven movie, so the fact that (SPOILER) isn’t as scary as in the original hardly even matters.
24. The Creature from the Black Lagoon
Jack Arnold, 1954
By the fifties, the gothic horror boom that birthed the classic Universal stable of monsters had run its course, replaced with scientific horrors – aliens, giant bugs, you name it. Nonetheless, they managed to squeeze out one final creature worthy of standing amongst the greats, combining the pathos of Frankenstein’s monster with a more modern background and what is probably the greatest black and white monster design ever committed to film. The story is, basically, an old standby – people go exploring and find a monster, monster falls in love with the girl, people have to rescue the girl from the monster – but the details make it sing.
23. Re-Animator
Stuart Gordon, 1985
Re-Animator is best known for the infamous naked girl/zombie head scene, as referenced in American Beauty. While that bit definitely typifies the tone of the movie, it would be a shame to reduce it all down to that moment. You’d miss out on the slyly clever script, the (rest of) the exquisitely crafted gore, and most of all, Jeffrey Combs’ career-making, brilliantly twitchy performance as Dr. Herbert West. It may be the least Lovecraftian of all the H.P. Lovecraft adaptations out there (it’s debatable), but when it’s this good, who cares?
22. Black Sabbath
Mario Bava, 1963
If you only have a half hour and you want to watch something from this list, watch the third segment (or the first segment if you’re watching the American dubbed/re-edited version, which I have not seen) of this film, “A Drop of Water.” The rest of the movie is great as well – perhaps a tad workmanlike, but still enlivened by Bava’s unmatched visual instincts and use of color – but it’s all about “A Drop of Water.” There is no more terrifying short subject out there.
21. Stagefright
Michele Soavi, 1987
Sleek and stylish, Stagefright manages to be incredibly surreal without ever disrupting the sense of reality. There’s never a point where you actually question what you’re seeing (at least until the very end. . . maybe), but it still feels very bizarre – after all, it’s about an avant-garde acting troupe trapped inside of a theater with a killer wearing a giant owl head. The English dub is a tad over-baked (just listen to Giovanni Lombardo Radice’s utterly ridiculous gay stereotype), although there are those who would claim that it makes it better.
2010 Haunt Reviews: Reinke Brothers Haunted Mansion
The Haunted Mansion
5663 S. Prince Street
Littleton, CO 80120
Haunting season got off to an early start for me this year with the Reinke Brothers' Haunted Mansion, one of the elder staples of the haunt community in Denver. I typically avoid going to haunts until at least a week into the month because they usually need some time to ramp up and get the kinks worked out - so if you're going early, you kind of have to make allowances for that. For the most part, though, no such allowances were needed at this haunt (although there was at least one room that clearly should have had an actor but didn't). Overall, it was a very solid start to the season, full of well-conceived scares and enthusiastic actors. Special kudos to one guy in a wolf-mask who stalked my haunting partner through the entire last 1/3 of thing.
That said, there were a few things that were kind of disappointing. The haunt is built into the Reinke Brothers costume store, which does work really well - as you exit the haunt, you find yourself in the middle of a cornucopia of seasonal goodies. Unfortunately, the entrance is also inside the store, and it makes for a less than impressive warm-up from an atmospheric perspective, despite the awesome giant animatronic demon next to the door. The haunt itself has no theme, jumping from a mansion to ancient Egypt to the jungle to outer space to an asylum. . . this isn't really an issue for me, but it can be for some, and does lessen the overall tension just a bit. There's also a generally cartoonish vibe to the whole thing - not a bad thing inherently, as it made the whole experience very fun, but that sort of atmosphere is never going to completely blow me away like something really scary will. There was also a very odd mixture of really ambitious, elaborate design and the occasional extreme cheapness. On the one hand you have a collection of more large-scale animatronics than I've ever seen in a haunt before, and on the other, you have trees that are actually poles wrapped in fabric. The problem isn't so much that some of the decor is cheap - it's no worse than in any other haunt - it's just that when everything else is all gussied up, it tends to stand out more, and can be a little distracting and mood-breaking.
Still, none of these are huge issues, and I want to be clear that I was very pleased overall. I would definitely recommend The Haunted Mansion, especially for younger people - I just think there will be better yet to come.
7/10
5663 S. Prince Street
Littleton, CO 80120
Haunting season got off to an early start for me this year with the Reinke Brothers' Haunted Mansion, one of the elder staples of the haunt community in Denver. I typically avoid going to haunts until at least a week into the month because they usually need some time to ramp up and get the kinks worked out - so if you're going early, you kind of have to make allowances for that. For the most part, though, no such allowances were needed at this haunt (although there was at least one room that clearly should have had an actor but didn't). Overall, it was a very solid start to the season, full of well-conceived scares and enthusiastic actors. Special kudos to one guy in a wolf-mask who stalked my haunting partner through the entire last 1/3 of thing.That said, there were a few things that were kind of disappointing. The haunt is built into the Reinke Brothers costume store, which does work really well - as you exit the haunt, you find yourself in the middle of a cornucopia of seasonal goodies. Unfortunately, the entrance is also inside the store, and it makes for a less than impressive warm-up from an atmospheric perspective, despite the awesome giant animatronic demon next to the door. The haunt itself has no theme, jumping from a mansion to ancient Egypt to the jungle to outer space to an asylum. . . this isn't really an issue for me, but it can be for some, and does lessen the overall tension just a bit. There's also a generally cartoonish vibe to the whole thing - not a bad thing inherently, as it made the whole experience very fun, but that sort of atmosphere is never going to completely blow me away like something really scary will. There was also a very odd mixture of really ambitious, elaborate design and the occasional extreme cheapness. On the one hand you have a collection of more large-scale animatronics than I've ever seen in a haunt before, and on the other, you have trees that are actually poles wrapped in fabric. The problem isn't so much that some of the decor is cheap - it's no worse than in any other haunt - it's just that when everything else is all gussied up, it tends to stand out more, and can be a little distracting and mood-breaking.
Still, none of these are huge issues, and I want to be clear that I was very pleased overall. I would definitely recommend The Haunted Mansion, especially for younger people - I just think there will be better yet to come.
7/10
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