Movie Saturday Memories, Volume 3

THE COLD GREY LIGHT

This was one of my scripts. I’d like to share with you the mental process that produced it, step by step.

1. I got a fog machine for Christmas.

2. I want to use it in a movie

3. We have no scripts that would work for it, so I’ll have to write a new one.

4. The fog should be a semi-metaphorical dimensional vortex of dubious reality that reflects the loneliness and isolation of the protagonist and translates it into a tangible form.

I promise I didn’t leave out any steps.

The Cold Grey Light was Luke’s first directing opportunity, which is kind of strange considering how heavily involved he was with all of the previous productions. I would have expected him to step up sooner. On the other hand, maybe he was just too smart to take on The Fallen Ninja and What You Want!!

There are three major things that I remember from this shoot. The first was the fog itself. Everyone hated it, in particular, the actors who had to walk into the bathroom and stay there for minutes at a time. I never understood what their problem was – for me, the smell of artificial fog is a happy, nostalgic one because it reminds me of haunted houses. Everyone else seemed to think of that smell as nasty chemicals coating their lungs. Weirdos.

The second thing I remember is that Luke decided to try a little bit of method work with his actors, and Neil wound up enjoying a nice big jug of Carlo Rossi wine throughout the shoot, in order to give him that blank stupor that was necessary for the character. This worked well during the shoot, amazingly, but not so well during post production when Neil and several others who helped him with the Carlo Rossi loudly decided that they wanted to watch Rushmore. This wouldn’t have been a problem, but Luke still needed to record music, and it didn’t fit his artistic vision to have Jason Schwartzman’s voice playing over our soundtrack. This led to a stand-off that was eventually resolved in favor of finishing the movie, but much belligerence was expressed before that time.

The third thing, which might have been related to the second, was that this was Jeff’s final Movie Saturday. He was dragged back in to help with the music and narration for the next project, but this was the week when he decided he was done. I never really understood why it happened, and he’s never fully explained it to me, but I hope you’ve enjoyed his contributions so far, because you ain’t getting’ no mo’. Except for that bit in the next movie. But no more after that.

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MODERN COWBOYS

Like . . . with a View, Modern Cowboys was intended as a warm-up project for something bigger. In this case, it was a Kung-Fu version of Hamlet that Jarred and Neil had written. Unlike Weekend Warriors, Hamlet never actually materialized. This is perhaps for the best.

In addition to being the last Movie Saturday in the first year of production, and was also the only one not shot on my Canon GL-1. Instead, Jarred’s technically superior XL-1 (which was also our second camera in What You Want!!) was used, although I think any benefit gained from the better model of camera was negated by that horribly dirty, scratched lens. When I see it I hurt inside, the way a mother might hurt if she saw a dirty, crying, abandoned baby on the street right outside of a gentleman’s club.

This is also the second (of three) on-screen appearance of yours truly, although it’s a pretty brief bit that didn’t require me to do much more than play video games and twitch spastically. Fun side note – after Trevor kills me and goes on a mini-rampage, he knocks a plastic cup off of the table. You can only sort of see this in the movie, but the cup actually ricocheted off the wall and landed back on the table, right-side-up, in its original position. You can’t plan something like that, but you can point the camera in the wrong direction when it happens.

I found myself in a strange position during this production, doing something I never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever would have expected to do – argue for the removal of profanity. It was something that had been bothering me ever since I saw the script, and I couldn’t really figure out why, since not only am I not normally bothered by it, I frequently don’t even notice it. Post-production was almost over before I realized what the issue was – Modern Cowboys is a television program, and television programs get bleeped. A few button presses later and everyone was happy.

I also want to mention the terrific opening credits, which blow my meager What You Want!! effort out of the water. The fact that two out of nine productions were television parodies for which the fake credit sequences were the highlights was a bit disturbing, though.

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That’s it for Movie Saturday: Year One. Looking back at it, I don’t think it was nearly as successful as it felt at the time, but I have mostly fond memories of the experience despite all the fights, which I seem to remember in more detail than anything else. I do think it’s a shame that things shuddered to a halt after Modern Cowboys, since the best part of Movie Saturday was the momentum that kept us producing on a regular basis. On the other hand, if it weren’t for the extended break and the considerable effort it took to get things going again, we might never have had the newly revamped Movie Saturday: Year Two, in which the promise of Movie Saturday finally started coming into focus. Join me next week for The Fortunate Ones, The Lamp, and Shadow – same Movie Saturday time, same Movie Saturday channel.

From left to right: Neil, Me, Trevor, Ben, Rachel, Jeff, and Luke in the front, happily basking in the afterglow of "Because it was Dead."