Saturday, March 8: 9 pm
After a quick burrito stop with Ben,
Kate, and Hannah following the early show, it was back to the queue
for the late. Actually, that's not entirely true. In point of fact,
we instead headed for the essentially queue-less Studio entrance,
because this time, we were going in with Studio Exec tickets.
Here's where I run into a bit of a
snag: Studio Exec tickets, are, for all intents and purposes, the
same as the now unavailable premium tickets (from October-end of
February, anyway). I bought a premium ticket for one of my previous
shows (#9), and in the write-up, I decided to treat the premium
content like a 1:1, and skip over it so as not to spoil anything.
This time, however, there are a couple of extenuating circumstances.
First, Studio Exec tickets are available to, essentially, any
returning visitor – so not quite as exclusive or secretive.
Secondly, unlike last time, the premium content formed an integral
part of my night, to the point I don't think I can really explain my
experience without it. So – I'm going to remain vague on a few
scripted things (you won't find many details of the prologue scene
here), but I'm going to be very open about my interactions with the
mysterious and wonderful Phoebe (Zoe Mills). To those who care:
consider this the super spoiler warning. If at any point I say I
went to the drafting room, it's time to skip ahead.
For now, though, let's start with
precisely the thing I said I wouldn't describe: the prologue. It
was, of course, the point at which I first met this version of
Phoebe, who, as much as I hate to use the phrase, essentially had me
at “hello.” In Zoe Mills' hands, Phoebe is nervous, a little
twitchy, and very sweet. She's incredibly endearing, and within just
a few words, I just wanted to give her a big hug. Beyond her
performance, the intro also benefited from the fact that you're
generally only going to see returning visitors in there – instead
of sitting there anxiously while Phoebe went on and on about
Punchdrunk and influences and how to watch a show like this, all the
while just knowing that the first lift full of people were ALREADY
INSIDE, we chatted with Phoebe about our previous experiences, what
we liked/didn't like, favorite characters, all of that. It still
took just as long, but felt more relevant, and Zoe's performance made
her quizzing and her spiel surprisingly compelling. I was completely happy just sitting in there listening to her.
Skip to the end of the prologue (told
you), and we're all in the queue, getting ready to head inside on the
third or fourth lift. To this point, I hadn't come up with a pick
for my first loop, and the lack of a cast board at the Studio
entrance didn't help matters. My choices were to either pick someone
from the photos in the lift, or go in blind and see who I could find,
completely unaware of the casting. I was not fond of the latter
idea, so I tentatively settled on starting with a William loop,
assuming that I saw Paul Zivkovich's face on the wall when the lift
doors opened. This despite certain reservations that I had. One thing I
wanted to make sure to do during my six-show stint was catch Paul for a loop, as he is awesome and his departure from the show loomed ominously in the near future. I had followed his Fool back in September, but
never his William, for reasons unrelated to him specifically.
Here's where the reservations come into play: you see, the various
performers who play each role don't generally mix and match
willy-nilly; there's a pattern. The relevant aspect of that is that
Paul's William is paired with Kate Jackson's Mary, and Omar Gordon's is paired with Laure Bachelot. As much as I wanted to follow
Paul as William, I had, to this point, always been reluctant to do a
William loop in which Mary was played by anyone but Laure. This is
not in any way a reflection on Kate's performance – I've seen parts
of her loop and she's quite good, particularly from the hoedown to
the end. But I had such a tremendous loop with Laure a few months
earlier that I wind up feeling weird about it every time I see another Mary. I know it doesn't make sense; it's one of those
inexplicable emotional things that I'm incapable of sorting out. But
there it is.
So I was rather pleasantly surprised to
step onto the lift and see Paul and Laure's faces looking out at me
from the wall. I don't know if this is the first time they ever
performed together (surely not), but I'd never heard of it happening before, and it
was certainly a very rare occurrence. Lucky break for Brian.
Immediately out of the lift, I found
the hoedown just getting started, and confirmed that it wasn't just a
cruel joke, Paul and Laure were indeed out on the dance floor.
Another surprise: Miranda Mac Letten as Drugstore Girl. Not quite as
rare an occurrence – after all, that was the role in which I had
first encountered her, but not one she plays very often any more. I
was briefly tempted to switch over to her before I had even started
with William, but I couldn't pass up my crazy golden opportunity.
Also, there was no Badlands Jack. Again.
I followed William and Andy (Nicola
Migliorati) out into town and watched their fountain scene, which is
very nice but didn't hit me quite the way I would have liked for two reasons - a) I came in too late to really bond with William. This is a problem
with the studio exec/premium ticket. Probably less of an issue for
other characters, but when you hit the ground running with high
tragedy, it's difficult to get into the swing of things. It's also probably my own fault for choosing to first-loop Mary and William,
respectively, at my two premium shows. I may do a lot of planning,
but I don't do it well. Anyway, there was also the matter of b) I
had just watched this very scene about two hours earlier (same William,
different Andy). Perils of the double.
Fortunately, once William reunited with
Mary, things started to go more smoothly. Part of it was having more
time to adjust, part of it was the sheer force of Paul's intense,
end-of-the-rope performance, and part of it was my residual emotional
attachment to Mary, which helped paper over some of the rough spots.
By the time they were dancing to “Walking in the Sand,” I was
fully on board. I was also very excited to see that, when mixing and
matching W's and M's, the choreography travels with William. I
vastly prefer Paul and Kate's tender, remorseful last dance and
murder to Omar and Laure's more brutal and frightening version. Once
again, the best of all worlds came together for me.
Once the murder was done, William ran
off into the desert, shouting Mary's name with a voice so ragged it must
have been agonizing. When he made his way to the studio gates, I was
briefly transported back to Sleep No More, as he briefly faced off
with a fellow veteran of the Macbeth clan, Leslie Ann Kraus. Then we
moved indoors and things slowly reset to a more normal state.
At this point, the mood wasn't as
beholden to the ongoing thrust of the story, so I was able to sit
back a bit and just enjoy the scenes laid out for me as individual
performances. William and Andy's desk dance and later tree dance,
William and Mary's car dance – these are all tremendous displays of
physical prowess and athleticism. I do tend to prefer diving deeply
into the story, ignoring all real-world concerns as much as possible,
but there is something to be said for occasionally stepping back and
thinking, “Wow. Just look at what I'm watching.”
Then, of course, there were the bits
that were less setpiece-y, but served to draw the storm clouds in
around William, such as Conrad's (Ben Whybrow) cabaret, which is one
of the scenes that really helps to humanize William, particularly in
the case of Paul's version. Comparing it to to Rob McNeil's
incarnation, which I saw during my Conrad loop at show 14, I was
struck by how much nicer Paul's William was about things. Rob's
response to Conrad's attention was near-horror – he wanted it to go
away as quickly as possible, and was very clear on that point.
Paul's William, however, while clearly equally uncomfortable with
things, seemed to be trying as hard as he could to be nice about it,
to not make trouble. That's really a microcosm of his life,
and probably the source of his madness.
Earlier I gave one reason for not doing
a William loop in the past, but there is actually another one as well
– After all of the other loops I've done with other characters, I
was pretty sure that I had effectively seen everything there was to
see in the loop, just in fragments. This turned out to essentially
be the case – the one drawback to an otherwise very enjoyable loop
was that it was all a repeat, down to the fact that most of those
scenes I had not only seen, but had seen with Paul's William
specifically.
As it turned out, however, there was
one new bit. A single scene which happened to fall right at the end
of my loop, allowing me to wrap up my time with William on a high
note. After his session with the Doctor (Anwar Russell, who I
resolved to return to at some point during the show), William
retreated to the deserted arcade and washed off the freshly drawn
drowned lung from his chest. It's a small scene, almost
insignificant in some ways, but I actually quite liked it. Once the
story gets moving (in other words, outside of the reset), it's really
the only time that William is actually by himself, not getting pulled
one way or another by other people. It's a moment of quiet, the
pause at the top of the roller-coaster before his descent begins in
earnest. I really enjoyed being able to share that moment before
departing. But soon the moment passed, and he was off to the hoedown
and I was off to see Phoebe.
Or so I thought. I hadn't taken even
two steps before I saw something odd – Tuttle (Matthew Blake), in
his shop, alone. I certainly wasn't going to allow this sad state of
affairs to stand, especially not with a Tuttle I hadn't yet seen.
Besides, the drafting room probably wasn't open quite yet. So I
trotted into the toyshop just in time for him to grab a paint can and
leave. Back out again.
I've been told that Homer Simpson (no,
not that one) served as the inspiration for Tuttle, and of all the
Tuttles I've seen, Matthew Blake's feels the closest to it. He moves
oddly, with a tight, closed off posture that seems designed to
compress his fairly imposing size. He doesn't talk much, and
when he does, he doesn't seem entirely accustomed to it. When the
time came, shortly thereafter, for his 1:1, he didn't reach out to
me, didn't say anything – he just walked past me, locked me into
the shop with him, and crouched down behind the counter. It's an
interesting performance, and one I'd like to see more of – but it
was not to be. I was only doing Studio Exec one time, and I intended to take the opportunity to see as much of Phoebe as possible. Thus, when he kicked me out of
the 1:1 room, my hand and mask covered with blood, I didn't return to
the toy shop. I made my way down to the basement.
When I got to the drafting room, I
found things already in full swing, with a half-dozen white masks
already in there. Phoebe was deep into some sort of interaction with
one of them, so I quickly knocked out a bit of research I had been
planning to do, reading through Miguel's and Badlands Jack's
dossiers. By the time I finished, the reset music was playing and
she rushed to the typewriter, typing out “It is starting over
again.” She then began moving tiny character figurines around a
map, mirroring the events outside, all the while mumbling frantically
to herself. When she's at work, Phoebe is constantly just this side
of sheer panic, holding things together by the skin of her teeth.
She's just so instantly sympathetic, I wanted, yet again, to give her a hug and tell her everything would be okay.
While she worked, I noticed a stack of
headshots on the desk. I've been mildly fascinated by these ever
since I noticed that the National Theatre website and the Temple
Studios website use different photos from the same shoot for some of
the performers. I was curious which set were in use, so I started
flipping through them, only to see that this stack included, in some
cases, yet a third variant. I'm sure this is a riveting development
for many of you - evidently I'm easily amused. Anyway, I eventually
noticed that Phoebe was standing beside me, entranced by the photos.
I stepped aside and she grabbed the stack, flipping through it until
she found Dolores and Marshall. She grabbed the pair of photos and
rushed to the desert model in the back of the drafting room. There,
she poured handfuls of sand into a small bible, which she used in
turn to pour the sand on to the photos, covering all but their eyes.
A tiny piece of paper fell out with the sand, and she unfolded it to
reveal. . . er, some sort of brief, ominous poem that I can't
remember. By this time several white masks had gathered around her.
She began, in her nervous, halting way, to narrate Marshall's initial
meeting with Dolores, but stopped after a couple of sentences. She
stared down at the photos and told us it was happening right now,
outside the trailers in Studio 2.
No one moved. I don't know what
everyone else was thinking, but I really wasn't sure who she was
talking too. Plus, I didn't really want to go. I wanted to watch
her some more. But then she turned directly to me, said, “It
may already be too late,” and led me to the door. Guess I win.
Or lose. Or both.
END OF DRAFTING ROOM INTERLUDE
Well, I had no intention of following
her instructions. I had things to do. If I wasn't going to be
watching Phoebe, I'd go back to checking off my list. Next up: the
new Doctor. I found him on his way back up to his office from
Dancing in the Dark. There, he puttered around for a few minutes,
rearranging chairs, before heading right back downstairs to Studio 2.
Amusingly, by going my own way, I wound up right where Phoebe was
sending me. As we walked into Studio 2, I saw that Andrea (Fania
Grigoriou) was on top of the caravans. This was exciting news – I
love Andrea's caravan dance, and I had not yet seen Fania do it.
Sadly, I have still never seen her do it, because almost as soon as
we arrived, she hopped down and headed for her audition. So instead,
I watched the Doctor watch the end of the birthday party. It's kind of hard to
get a read on Anwar's Doctor. The best description I can come up
with is that he feels like a Doctor. That probably sounds facetious,
but actually, it stands in sharp contrast to many of the others, who
tend to emphasize the weird, or creepy aspects of the characters. I
would not trust any of the doctors I've seen in that building – except for
Anwar's (though I'm sure I would live to regret it if I did so). After the party, he brought Wendy back
up to his office for her examination. I was struck by how much more
imposing Stanford (Sam Booth) was than usual, owing to Leslie's
diminutive stature. I can only imagine the contrast if she were ever
paired up with James Traherne's Stanford.
Soon Wendy was gone, Alice (Emily
Mytton) came and went, and all of the other white masks went with
them, leaving me alone with the Doctor. He shuffled some more chairs
around and went into his office, where he started examining some
inkblots, eventually selecting one and slipping it into an envelope.
Meanwhile, off in the distance, I could hear. . . is that. . . could
it be. . . yep. Bulldog. It called to me, demanding my presence,
but I couldn't just walk out on the Doctor when I was the only one
there! I gritted my teeth until the urge passed, and soon I was
rewarded. The doctor stepped forward and looked at my mask, concern
etched across his face. He took my hand and examined it, then
finally said, “I'm going to need you to come with me for some
tests. You appear to be covered in blood.”
After a somewhat embarrassing stab at a
talky 1:1, I found myself ejected back into the corridor, alone.
Seemed like the perfect time to return to Phoebe, so off I went back
to the drafting room. Inside, I found Hannah standing right by the
door, reading a character dossier. I took a moment to point out Romola's dossier, because it is in many ways the most
interesting of them. She, in turn, pointed at the dossier in her hand. I pointed again, emphatically, and she, just as emphatically, pointed at hers. I give up. Turns out, she'd already read the Romola dossier
anyway. Of course. I should never have attempted to out-maneuver Spoiler Mum.
Turning my attention back to the room,
I found Phoebe moving the Dwayne, Faye, and Miguel figurines around.
When she saw me, she quickly motioned me over, slipped Miguel and
Dwayne into my hands, and led me to the desert model. There, she
took the figures from me and set them down, along with Faye. She
told me to wait one moment, rushed off, and returned with a bottle of
water (at least, I hope it was water. Clearly meant to represent
some form of liquor, but the way she was throwing it back – yeah,
it better have been water).
She then proceeded to take my hand and
narrate the story of the desert dance, all the while drinking
haphazardly and half-dancing with herself in tiny little circles.
She explained what was happening, why it was happening, what everyone
was thinking, and let me tell you: it was phenomenal. I got to see a very different side of Phoebe – sure, she's nervous, overwhelmed, and
barely able to keep it together. But when you get down to it, her
job is to tell stories. And she's clearly a born
story-teller - because she LOVES doing it. And I love her for loving
it. Her mounting enthusiasm was infectious. It might actually have
been more compelling than the scene itself, and I don't say that
lightly. Three minutes of pure magic.
But then it was over, and she sent me
away to see the real thing. After her usual spiel at the door
(“stairs are to the right, up to the top floor, etc”), she added
a little extra bit, however, asking me (with pleading eyes) if I was
going to come back and see her again afterward. Once again, I had to
suppress the hug reflex. Instead, I nodded, trying my hardest to
smile with my eyes. Poor Phoebe, all alone in the basement. Thinking back on my first time, with Sarah Sweeney's Phoebe, I got essentially the same feeling from her – a yearning loneliness. In that case,
though, I kind of had to tease it out of what I saw, whereas here Phoebe was pouring her whole heart out all over me. I can almost
see Zoe's Phoebe as a progression of that character rather than an
alternate interpretation of her, where the additional months of
isolation have driven her nearly to the breaking point.
END OF DRAFTING ROOM INTERLUDE
Well, once again, I didn't really want
to go see the scene she was sending me to. The night was drawing
frighteningly close to its end, and I still had one other thing I
really wanted to do – so I rushed up to the town for some Drugstore
Girl time.
I found her in the arcade, dancing in
roller skates with the Barman (Jude Monk McGowan). I also,
unsurprisingly, found Ben in the arcade, watching her dance in roller
skates with the Barman. The timing didn't wind up really working in
my favor, though, as I only managed to catch the back half of that
single scene before she joined everyone else for the hoedown, which I
had already seen earlier in the show. On the other hand, well,
it is the hoedown after all, so I stuck around to watch. In the
absence of Badlands Jack, the Barman remained behind the bar again,
but apparently couldn't help letting loose with a bottle of
champagne. I'm not really sure what that was all about.
Then it was back down to the drafting
room to fulfill my promise to Phoebe. I found her alone, with no
other white masks. When I entered the room, she immediately rushed
to my side and took my arm. I don't mind saying I felt just a touch
heroic. But then I saw the look on her face. Some thing was
different. She had spent the whole show just on the safe side of
panic, but something had pushed her across the line. “You can't stay here,”
she said.
W-H-A-T?!
I stood, rooted on the spot. What did
she mean? The only thing in the world I wanted at that moment was to
stay there and keep her company. Especially with the state she was
in. If only I could talk, and ask her why. She clearly picked up on
my consternation. “I wish you could stay,” she said, slipping
her hand into mine and giving it a squeeze. But there was nothing to
be done. If I had to leave, I had to leave. I slowly turned toward
the exit, but then she pulled me back.
“Listen,” she said. “Go to the
party.” Ah, an instruction. Go to the – wait, what is she
talking about? My mind raced through parties in the show. “Walking
in the Sand” was playing in the drafting room, did she mean that?
Not much of a party. The hoedown is a party, but that just ended.
The birthday party? That's just ridiculous. I thought for a moment
that maybe she was somehow confused. I'm sure anyone reading this
who's been to the show knows exactly what she meant, but I was
slightly emotionally overwhelmed and even a little bit panicked at
that moment, so I came up blank. I realized I was going to have to
do something stupid.
“Which party?” I asked.
“Mr. Stanford is having a private
executive party,” she said.
Facepalm.
I nodded. She led me to the door, and
again stopped me as I started to leave. “Go to the party. When
Wendy leaves. . . .come back to me.”
A-ha. Buoyed by the knowledge that
Phoebe and I weren't through with each other yet, I strolled down to
the orgy. I have to admit, I didn't pay a whole lot of attention to
it, I was just marking time until Wendy's exit. Frankly, it seemed
to take FOREVER. But eventually she left, and so did I.
I ran back to the drafting room, shoved
my keycard in the lock, and rushed in. I do have to wonder what the
black mask guarding the door was thinking at that moment. Inside, I
found Phoebe, now much calmer, standing in the middle of the room in
a sparkly evening dress. She was holding a polished wooden box in
her hands. Upon seeing me, she smiled, thanked me for coming back,
and latched the door. No interruptions.
She brought me back to the desert model
again and opened the box, removing a pair of scissors and two paper
dolls. One had a red line across its neck, the other had a red smear
on the abdomen. Mary and Marshall. She picked up Paper Mary,
pressing the blades of the scissors to its neck, but not cutting.
She wrapped my hands around hers – if there was to be any cutting,
we would do it together. All the while, she described the scene,
explaining what William was thinking, and then – she stopped. She
stared sadly at the paper doll, unmoving. After a long pause, she
took a deep breath, as if to steel herself, then said it. The words
that had meant so much to me last time, now given a new and much more
horrifying context.
“If I do nothing, nothing will ever
happen.”
Back in December, it was a philosophy. A statement about life, reminding me to go experience things rather than hide away in the basement looking at models of them. But I must have gotten it wrong. It wasn't actually about that at all. It was Phoebe's sad resignation of the power she wields over the show, and the responsibility that comes with it. Something deep inside of me died a little bit. How could I respond to that? Was it an instruction? Was she asking me to make her do it? I tentatively applied some pressure to the scissors, but her hand held
firm. Then she looked me in the eye, with just the hint of a sad
smile, and in one quick motion, without even looking at it, we cut
the doll's head from its body.
The second one went much faster, but
felt just as difficult. Then, she shut down the drafting room and
we left (through the front door! Crazy!). Instead of heading straight up
the stairs, she led me down the long corridor that went past
Stanford's room. As we passed the reel-to-reel room, Stanford's
pre-recorded voice echoed faintly around us. Phoebe stopped to
listen to it, overwhelmed with shock and perhaps a touch of horror.
After a moment she shook off the effects, told me “we have to go,”
and led me up to Studio 2 for the murder. We made it there before
most of the crowd and got a prime spot right at the base of the
mound. Then: the murder. Unlike pretty much every character I've
ever watched the murder with, Phoebe wasn't really getting into it at
all. In fact, it was clearly freaking her right out. When
Stanford's voice called cut, the room erupted into cheering all
around us, but Phoebe didn't join in. “We are Enough” began to
play, and everyone headed over to the stage. But not Phoebe. She
just stood there, staring at the mound. I can't even begin to
describe the look on her face – shock? Horror? Confusion?
Sadness? All of the above and then some, plus a definite hint of
denial. It wasn't long before we were the only two people at the
murder mound, standing alone in the dark. Still she stared.
Finally, in a daze, she took my hand and led me to the stage,
dropping me at the front with instructions to wait for her. She
stumbled up into the action, agog at all of the people around her,
until finally she came across Tuttle. They spoke, briefly – near
as I could tell, he was introducing himself, but who knows for sure?
They shook hands. . . and it was like switch flipped. Dull shock
gave way to rapturous joy. Phoebe ran around the stage like a
lunatic, “meeting” as many characters as she could before the
dance began. It was quite cathartic after all the time I'd spent
worrying about her and wishing I could somehow ease her pain.
After the finale, she came back for me
and led me into the opium den. She reached for my mask and then
stopped, asking, “May I?” No one else has ever asked. When the mask
came off, she smiled (such a warm smile, so unlike her) and said,
“There, that's better.” She took me by the hand again and led me
out the other end of the opium den. Along the way, she asked me how
it was. All I could say was “Wonderful.”
We paused at the threshold, and she
thought for a moment. “Yeah, it was,” she said. “I can't tell
you how much it meant to me.” Then, with a kiss on the cheek, she
was gone - and my penultimate show drew to a close.